Slacker

I'm a slacker, not the cool 90's version, I'm talking old school slacker. As in 'to slack', or someone who slacks off, takes it easy, scraps by, does only what's required, lazy. It's a self-image that speaks more about my character than I'm comfortable with.

These days, however, I'm starting to doubt my status as slacker. I'm not sure I've become less of a slacker as much as everyone else has become more committed to their slacking. They've sunk into it over time like an old bed. It could be I've just met more people and realized that what I thought was me doing an exemplary job of slacking was really just par for the course. I may even be a below average slacker.

We're only good for so much output, it's a physical reality. Here's the test. Pick a person you feel represents the opposite of a slacker. Get to know them well, I mean well. You'll find they're slacking somewhere in their life, you just didn't see it before.

There's a certain someone in my family who's a great example. Outwardly, she's the opposite of slacker. She works full-time, her life is completely scheduled, she doesn't seem to ever sit still. If you look closely, however, you'll find she spends a disconcerting amount of time tuned into the TV. Larry King, OJ Simpson, and CNN are her slack time.

I swear I'm committed to slacking, I'm trying. I place great value on staring at walls. It's lazy man's meditation. I've started to enjoy getting stuck in lines, sometimes seeking out the longer lines in grocery stores and license bureaus.

I stand my ground in longer lines when shorter ones develop. It's my alone time, feeling most alone while surrounded by people in a public place. At an airport waiting for my sister-in-law to arrive from BC, sitting in a coffee shop at lunch watching everyone have the same conversation, the same simple chats. No one listening, no one actually talking, responding, everyone glazed over.

"I can help the next person over here."

"Thanks, I'm ok."