Group Hugs

Can we just tell it like it is? Sports is a way for guys to hug, and pat each other's bottoms, in a way they're comfortable with. That's why I'm opposed to adding more equipment like mandatory visors in hockey. It's what ruined american style football. You can't get in a good hug with all that equipment on.

Sure if you're a team owner it makes perfect sense. The more equipment you put on the players the further from actual physical contact they are. The frustration and aggression levels creep ever higher and it shows up during the next 'scrum' or bodycheck. Excellent for the bottom line but terrible for the players. Cripes, they just want a hug.

"We need to do something. The players in this league aren't aggressive enough."

"What about offering more money?"

"More money? How do you offer more money to a guy that owns an island and never wears the same article of clothing twice?"

"What about more padding?"

"What are you talking about?"

"More padding. We all know they're out there for the hugs so take their hugs away and they'll work harder for them. It'll frustrate the hell out of them and they'll tear each other apart trying to touch skin."

"Who is this guy?"

"Ah, he's that small gray wrinkle on the backside of your brain just above the only thing you learned in first year psych."

"Oh he's good."