Familyless

I was recently contemplating what my life would be like without my wife and our two kids. Here's what I came up with:

"Hey sweets I'm home. Sweets? Family? Oh my fucking god, they're gone. They're fucking gone. I'll never see them again."

"I need a fucking drink. Oh my fuck, we're out of beer, we're out of booze, there is no we, I'm out of booze."

After that I can only assume I'd begin frequenting an endless series of establishments in a painful odyssey ending only when my liver, out of sheer exhaustion, crawls out of my body to find a simple death.

I should really be working for Hallmark with this material. This could be an above average anniversary card.