computer's feeling insecure

"We're moving all outside access to retinal scans."

"What? Are you serious? They do that?"

"Ah yes, the technologies are readily available these days."

"Sure, but it seems messy."

"It's just optics."

"Optics?"

"Ya."

"Cripes, it seems intrusive, messy, not to mention a little painful."

"Huh?"

"Everytime I enter the building I have to get a rectal scan?"

"Rectal? Eww, not rectal, retinal scan dumb ass. Eyeballs not assholes."

"Oh right, that makes sense. Seriously though, a rectal scan may work better. It's certainly more of a deterrent to entering the building."